In Gratitude... For Ella

The month before I became pregnant with Ella I had a miscarriage. I was both very excited and very nervous when I found out that, once again, there was a baby in me. At about 9 weeks I thought we were losing her and it broke my heart - but she didn't go! When I got pregnant we were doing a rotation in Utah. Three months later we moved to Idaho Falls for another rotation. I started getting sharp pains right before we made the move - but they would quickly go away. About two months into our stay in Idaho, and three months of these weird, sudden, debilitating pains, and five months into my pregnancy, I got very, suddenly, extremely sick. Again, my biggest concern was whether or not a baby could survive what I was going through. When I got to the hospital they gave me pain medication and an X-ray and all of these things that made me nervous for our baby's safety, but Brad gave me a Priesthood Blessing and told me that our baby would be protected from the ill effects of the process. After several tests the doctors determined that I had a kidney stone which was blocking my left kidney. I was rushed into surgery on a Sunday night and woke up feeling much relieved. After a day in the hospital they sent me home where I immediately began running a very high fever. Back to the hospital I went. I was there for a week. They hired an Infectious Disease doctor to my team. They could not figure out what was wrong with me. The antibiotics they tried weren't killing the whatever it was... finally, after a LOT of prayer and another Priesthood Blessing, they put me on a new IV antibiotic. It worked. They sent me home but I had to have the IV on me and the antibiotics injected into me twice a day. After this whole fiasco we moved BACK to Philadelphia (5 days in a van) for the last three months of Brad's schooling and the last three months of my pregnancy. Indeed, little baby Ella was born just 10 days before Brad graduated. She was such a miracle. I really hadn't planned to tell her whole pre-life story - but since it has worked out that way...! We moved around a lot when Ella was a baby. We moved the two times before she was born and then three more times in her first year of life. Before she was even ONE month old she had visited the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, several Church History sites, and at 11 states. She spent a lot of time in her car seat - she even slept there for the first three weeks because we didn't have her cradle with us. Her nickname when she was tiny was "Perfect Baby" and she was. Now, you must understand, she DID turn two - and then came an AMAZING stubborn streak - not very often - but if she sets her mind - you CAN'T out-stubborn that girl.

But oh, is she ever wonderful. She has the cutest dimple under her lip. She has a giggle that you can't resist. And she has her daddy's eyes. Lucky girl.

She is the one child of ours that could be called "shy". Others can pretend for a minute or two, but with Bean (as we often call her) it is genuine. She is just quiet and sweet. We like her so much.

She started school this year and really likes it. I'm glad in a way, but I miss her. She is my snuggle bug. I am thankful that I am her mom. She makes me happy in so many ways, and she gives me a run for my money in others - which may not make me exactly happy - but it does make me stronger!

I was very sad when I miscarried - but having Ella, and knowing that I wouldn't have otherwise had her, makes me so grateful for a loving Father who knows, not only WHAT I need, but WHO I need too - and Ella Bean, I needed you.

I LOVE you, Ella!