Here is the story. I bought these earrings because they looked like EMILY! I decided to wear them to church yesterday (considering the morning I had I should have known better) for the first time in my 6 months of ownership. So sporting my VERY fancy earrings I headed to church with my husband and five children. Brad helped with the administration of the Sacrament yesterday, which is always such an honor and wonderful experience, but it leaves me in a pew with all five children. SO! It was during the passing of the Sacrament. Camilla was plastered to my left side, Anna was "sitting" on my lap ("sittin
g" in this case means climbing, wiggling, riggling, scrambling, twisting, turning, and bouncing), and Ella was plastered to my right side, facing backward, rubbing her head all around... when all of the sudden I realized that I was SNAGGED! Ella's hair and necklace were IMPOSSIBLY entangled with my Emily Earring! IMPOSSIBLY!!! I began to try to untangle them. Ella was pulling her head away while yell-whispering, "I'm stuck! It's pulling!" and I am yell-whispering back (in the middle of the Sacrament) "Stop moving! You are going to rip my ear in half!" I become FRANTIC! It is NOT coming apart! I am working feverishly, my ear is now twisted backward, Ella is NOT holding still AT ALL - pulling and twisting and whining about her hair being pulled while my earring hole is expanding until I'm sure it will be big enough that I can wear one of those "hole punch" earrings that a tiger could jump through at the circus (you've seen those boys at Walmart). I am really panicking now. It has been minutes. I am hopelessly stuck. Camilla is laying on my left side which is now numb, Anna is still tap dancing on my lap, Ella is yanking her head - and my ear in all directions, and the next part of the Sacrament is heading our way. I decide I need to escape. I remove my hands and arms from the web of hair and metal on my right so that I can unceremoniously dump Anna on the floor and chisel Camilla off, and then I feel a loosening. Desperately I head back into the jungle of hopelessness and manage to free the necklace from the earring and then in one desperate yank Ella pulls her hair free as well. I thought of these words "FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST..."
g" in this case means climbing, wiggling, riggling, scrambling, twisting, turning, and bouncing), and Ella was plastered to my right side, facing backward, rubbing her head all around... when all of the sudden I realized that I was SNAGGED! Ella's hair and necklace were IMPOSSIBLY entangled with my Emily Earring! IMPOSSIBLY!!! I began to try to untangle them. Ella was pulling her head away while yell-whispering, "I'm stuck! It's pulling!" and I am yell-whispering back (in the middle of the Sacrament) "Stop moving! You are going to rip my ear in half!" I become FRANTIC! It is NOT coming apart! I am working feverishly, my ear is now twisted backward, Ella is NOT holding still AT ALL - pulling and twisting and whining about her hair being pulled while my earring hole is expanding until I'm sure it will be big enough that I can wear one of those "hole punch" earrings that a tiger could jump through at the circus (you've seen those boys at Walmart). I am really panicking now. It has been minutes. I am hopelessly stuck. Camilla is laying on my left side which is now numb, Anna is still tap dancing on my lap, Ella is yanking her head - and my ear in all directions, and the next part of the Sacrament is heading our way. I decide I need to escape. I remove my hands and arms from the web of hair and metal on my right so that I can unceremoniously dump Anna on the floor and chisel Camilla off, and then I feel a loosening. Desperately I head back into the jungle of hopelessness and manage to free the necklace from the earring and then in one desperate yank Ella pulls her hair free as well. I thought of these words "FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST..."I guess I will never be Emily.
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7 comments:
They are cute and fancy earrings, though. I bet you looked great in them.
That is so funny for many reasons - and just one of them is the fact that I was right behind you and never knew ANY of this was going on! Just goes to show we are all busy trying to get our kiddos reverant during Sacarament meeting!!
Heather you are such an amazing writer - you NEED to write a book or many books - one being a funny book on motherhood (Emily Watts style!)
I love those earrings! Not even luff luff luff, but really LOVE them! The story made me laugh, but really the whole time I was just thinking "Yeah, but those earrings are SOOOO cute!!!"
You are such a funny writer. I love reading your posts! I just want you to know I was planning on mentioning our fantastic dinner with friends on my last post, I just didn't have any pictures but was still going to do it and then I forgot and hit publish. I remembered instantly afterwards and was so mad. It was worth mentioning, I promise. I just didn't want to write another post. I already spend too much time blogging. Thanks again! And Thank You to Brad for the eye exam. You guys are the best!
Laughing and laughing and laughing. We really need to get together! Can I have those earrings?
Do you ever wonder why we bother? I can relate to the being smothered at church. RIP beautiful earrings!
Heather, I can totally picture it. Glad you came through without a rip in your ear. Kids just don't understand.
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